"Linda, This is God"
I'm changing the names in this, well, just cause it seems like that's the thing to do... So we'll call her "Linda".
Any given day, all the EMS runs seem to be all the same. There are the real emergencies
sprinkled in every now and then, but for the most part, they're all the same. But, I've learned not to say "I've seen it all". Of all the runs we go on, I have my favorites. Sure, all the medics look forward to the traumas, you know, GSWs, stabbings or the big car wrecks. I also like the OD's, I just feel like they kind'a deserve whatever treatment they get. (I know the hospitals feel the same way, they get too big of a kick out of pushing a nasty charcoal substance into people and pumping their stomachs.) Another of my favorites are "mentals". Sometimes people just kind of drop off the deep end, because of something they were born with or just for no reason at all. You can mess with them, and they usually don't realize it. "Linda" was one of these people.
The way we were dispatched on the run was for a "sick" person. Sick can mean anything, "I just don't feel good" or in this case, a mental. We have MDT's in the medics and ambulances. They are like little computer monitors that dispatch sends info to. Run location, type and any special info they might have on the run. This time it said "Mental. Female, nude, throwing things into front yard". Police were also in route, along with an engine crew. As we all pulled up in front of the house, there was Linda. Linda weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 400 - 450 lbs. She was naked. At the time we arrived, she was ripping the storm door off the front of the house and throwing it into a pile of other stuff in front of the house. She'd disappear into the house, come out with another armload of stuff, and throw it on the pile. All the time she's doing this, she was laughing, singing church hymns at the top of her lungs. Linda's husband, who weighed maybe 90 lbs soaking wet told us that Linda hadn't been taking her medication and suddenly went nuts. So there we were, 2 firefighters on an ambulance, 4 firefighters on an engine and 2 cops looking at each other waiting to see what the others would do. Linda kept throwing books, magazines, furniture... on the pile singing gospel at the top of her lungs, giggling like a little girl. Finally, the cops started for the door, with us firefighters behind. 10 minutes later, we finally had Linda on the floor, handcuffed. Believe me when I tell you, it's not any fun wrestling with an naked,obese, crazy woman. No mater what you're into. She wasn't giggling anymore, now she was just plain mad. We had to pull our cot out of the medic unit and put it on top of the engine. We put 2 reeves stretchers side by side and strap Linda to those. A reeves stretcher is a flexible stretcher, most people can fit on 1, we needed 2 for Linda. We backed the medic into the hill in front of the house, and carried/slid Linda across the front yard and onto the floor of the medic. Linda started singing hymns again as we put her in the medic, and even giggled again when my partner Andy tickled her feet before we closed the doors. Now Linda's strapped face down on the stretchers, handcuffed, on the floor of the medic. We take off for the hospital with me driving the ambulance, Andy in back with Linda, the cops following in their cruisers and the engine last with our cot on top of their hose load. As we were heading down the road, Andy suddenly yelled up to me that maybe we should try to hurry because Linda was struggling and had almost kicked free of the straps. I don't think Andy was looking forward to wrestling with Linda by himself. Linda was still singing about Jesus and God at the top of her lungs, and I suddenly decided to try to have a little fun. We have a little dash mounted intercom that goes to the back of the ambulance, and I pushed the button and said "Linda, this is God". Andy said that at this point, Linda snapped her head up and said "Yes God?" I said "Linda, these people are here to help you, and I want you to lay still and be nice to them". Linda said "Oh God! I will. I promise."" From that point on, Linda was good, still singing, but not struggling. We pulled up to the hospital, slid her out of the medic on to a hospital bed, and the last I ever saw of Linda was her being wheeled of to a room, singing hymns at the top of her lungs.
I'm not sure what caused this episode, and we were never called back to her house for another. I later found out that "Linda" had died some time later from another ailment.
Any given day, all the EMS runs seem to be all the same. There are the real emergencies
sprinkled in every now and then, but for the most part, they're all the same. But, I've learned not to say "I've seen it all". Of all the runs we go on, I have my favorites. Sure, all the medics look forward to the traumas, you know, GSWs, stabbings or the big car wrecks. I also like the OD's, I just feel like they kind'a deserve whatever treatment they get. (I know the hospitals feel the same way, they get too big of a kick out of pushing a nasty charcoal substance into people and pumping their stomachs.) Another of my favorites are "mentals". Sometimes people just kind of drop off the deep end, because of something they were born with or just for no reason at all. You can mess with them, and they usually don't realize it. "Linda" was one of these people.
The way we were dispatched on the run was for a "sick" person. Sick can mean anything, "I just don't feel good" or in this case, a mental. We have MDT's in the medics and ambulances. They are like little computer monitors that dispatch sends info to. Run location, type and any special info they might have on the run. This time it said "Mental. Female, nude, throwing things into front yard". Police were also in route, along with an engine crew. As we all pulled up in front of the house, there was Linda. Linda weighed somewhere in the neighborhood of 400 - 450 lbs. She was naked. At the time we arrived, she was ripping the storm door off the front of the house and throwing it into a pile of other stuff in front of the house. She'd disappear into the house, come out with another armload of stuff, and throw it on the pile. All the time she's doing this, she was laughing, singing church hymns at the top of her lungs. Linda's husband, who weighed maybe 90 lbs soaking wet told us that Linda hadn't been taking her medication and suddenly went nuts. So there we were, 2 firefighters on an ambulance, 4 firefighters on an engine and 2 cops looking at each other waiting to see what the others would do. Linda kept throwing books, magazines, furniture... on the pile singing gospel at the top of her lungs, giggling like a little girl. Finally, the cops started for the door, with us firefighters behind. 10 minutes later, we finally had Linda on the floor, handcuffed. Believe me when I tell you, it's not any fun wrestling with an naked,obese, crazy woman. No mater what you're into. She wasn't giggling anymore, now she was just plain mad. We had to pull our cot out of the medic unit and put it on top of the engine. We put 2 reeves stretchers side by side and strap Linda to those. A reeves stretcher is a flexible stretcher, most people can fit on 1, we needed 2 for Linda. We backed the medic into the hill in front of the house, and carried/slid Linda across the front yard and onto the floor of the medic. Linda started singing hymns again as we put her in the medic, and even giggled again when my partner Andy tickled her feet before we closed the doors. Now Linda's strapped face down on the stretchers, handcuffed, on the floor of the medic. We take off for the hospital with me driving the ambulance, Andy in back with Linda, the cops following in their cruisers and the engine last with our cot on top of their hose load. As we were heading down the road, Andy suddenly yelled up to me that maybe we should try to hurry because Linda was struggling and had almost kicked free of the straps. I don't think Andy was looking forward to wrestling with Linda by himself. Linda was still singing about Jesus and God at the top of her lungs, and I suddenly decided to try to have a little fun. We have a little dash mounted intercom that goes to the back of the ambulance, and I pushed the button and said "Linda, this is God". Andy said that at this point, Linda snapped her head up and said "Yes God?" I said "Linda, these people are here to help you, and I want you to lay still and be nice to them". Linda said "Oh God! I will. I promise."" From that point on, Linda was good, still singing, but not struggling. We pulled up to the hospital, slid her out of the medic on to a hospital bed, and the last I ever saw of Linda was her being wheeled of to a room, singing hymns at the top of her lungs.
I'm not sure what caused this episode, and we were never called back to her house for another. I later found out that "Linda" had died some time later from another ailment.
posted by Bill at 8:37 PM
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